… or
8 working days
The silence of a cold, bright winters dawn broke. Smoke drifting on the wind, like dancers across a stage. The sound of the larks in the trees, deafening the ears. The only other sound is the beat of the heart. Rhythmic hypnotic. Faster and faster. Blood pumping, breathing is hard. Focus, focus. Suddenly the burst of adrenalin. Feet pumping. I rise to the front. My cover broken. Grasping the trigger I fire 3 or 4 times as I am rising. My next cover ten feet away. Legs pumping but the mud is not making easy. Then the dull thud and the stinging pain. “I am hit” and I drudge of the battle field to the dead zone.
Ok so not an award winning novel but never the less an introduction to the world of paintball. Yes for the regulars keeping count, this weekend was my stag do. As I mentioned before it was decided that paintball was the method of “male bonding” and I have to say what a top, top, top day.
Actually my stag do started on Friday day night with my own private one from the LL. Sadly can’t tell you much but it was a bloody good start to the weekend.
Back to Saturday.
It started early. Having to arrive at 9.15am sharp (or so the info said). So with that in mind a time was agreed and confirmed. As always DJ Brunx was given a time way in advanced but this time the man came through. However (and I am starting think part latino) Sparky who called to say he was on his way but running late. Never the less the planning had allowed for this and despite getting lost (as so it seemed everyone else) we arrived on time. It was so amazing to have so many friends turn up and from so many differing backgrounds. After the initial pfaff of registration it was time to get our armour and helmets. After the fitting it was the all important time to get “tooled up”. I decide to go for the Rambo pack which included 500 “Bullets”, 2 grenades and gloves (very Important).
The all important safety brief was followed by Brunx, Jorge and Nestor all asking me “Que? What did he say”? I re-highlighted the important bits. Basically if your mask comes off lay flat on the ground with your hands over your eyes. The it was time to get busy. Basically the day consisted of 5 scenarios which you play twice, one in “each direction”. Our day started with a flag game. Retrieve flag and then try and get into the other teams camp. Our team consisted of the Number 9 gang (us see roll call) and another group of kids and, I guess there mothers.
So the game started and I thought I know I am just going to legit for the flag or at least the barrels in front of it. I actually made it to. Sadly my attempt to actually get the flag failed miserably and I was taken out after about a minute……… Nuts !!!. Anyway we lost that one which was kind of the theme for the day to be honest but I would say there was some dodgy cheating going from the other team but it was all good fun really.
Couple of things
1. Running into a house and shooting a 12 year old as he jumps in the house, will involve you getting shot at close from the 12 year old as well (fair play to him but it did hurt)
2. White tops and white trainers really are not a good for rolling around in the mud.
3. Always do the neck thing up to the top (See Pete’s neck)
4. The face mask will take the force of the shot but not stop the paint going into your mouth.
5. You really need to have some sort of tactic.
6. The paint grenades are utter shit.
7. The smoke grenades are rather good used wisely.
8. The flash bangs have a very short fuse, ask Pete, his glove and the Women who now can’t hear.
9. Some moron from your own team will shoot you when you have declared yourself dead and they identify you as the stag. (yes I am looking at you Taylor, your time will come, your time will come).
10. 500 Bullets is not nearly enough (unless you are a sniper like Richie).
11. The other team will always cheat. Ie. Yeah I made it into the fort despite being covered in paint. (Twice)(Pendejos)
12. You really need knees to play
13. Going to the gym is pointless, I still ache.
Scenarios
Bridge assault
Urban attack
Fort (Defend/attack)
Gravesite
Speedball
Roll call (see picture)
Back row (L to R)
Gareth “Rooivalk” D
Richie “Sniper” E
Pete “Deadmeat” B
Stephen “Man at arms” P
Mark “Sparky” T
Jorge “The Hitman” C
Bruno “Delta 1” R
Kneeling
Gareth “Bravo 1 and quarter Zero” S
Gareth “Matador” H
Nestor “Rainbow Warrior” S
Well after a totally fun day we headed out for a ruby and drinks. Where we saluted fallen comrades (Stephen P and Richie E) and welcomed new recruits (Ben Torro). Frankly I think we were all feeling it by about 10.30 as signified by the group groan as we tried to get up off the table. Next was turtle and then was talk of going to help the charity place down the road.?? Yeah said Bruno they are so poor and that place you have to give the girls some money because they have no clothes to wear. However it was all but over by that point and we headed back to Fort Hunt.
I have to say I had a fantastic day and evening. Thank you to all those who came and celebrated with me. I will remember it always. Thank you
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